mind-set, dreams, good enough, self-care

I delivered a talk on Mind-set to a local networking group yesterday and I’ve been reading all the stories from the mums who are currently doing my Mighty Mama Challenge and they’ve got me thinking about the most important mind-sets we need to adopt to balance our busy lives and follow our dreams.  Whilst I’m sure there are plenty more these stand out as my top three:

  1. Put your own mask on first

When the air hostess tells you ‘in the case of an emergency put your own oxygen mask on first’ it kind of goes against everything we’ve been told and at first you think ‘eh, I can’t do that I’ll have to save the kids first!’ but the truth is we can’t save anyone when we’ve passed out!

And that’s how many women are feeling these days, flat out exhausted because there’s so many fires to put out, a constant to-do list and our poor bodies are living in a constant state of emergency without any time to switch off and relax.

We feel guilty for taking a break, lose sight of who we really are and what ‘fills us up’.

When we neglect our own needs it’s like failing to put our mask on first, we aren’t really able to help anyone.

Adopting the mind-set that’s it’s not selfish to spend time nurturing yourself is a very powerful one indeed and one we really need to be passing on to our children.  I know many women suffer with feelings of guilt whenever they do something for themselves and it’s crazy.

Self-care is essential.  We need to fill ourselves up so that we are able to give to others, not give to others until we’re completely empty.

If guilt is an issue for you download my free Guilt Release Meditation here

  1. Good enough is good enough

Boy did I struggle with this mind-set a few years ago but it has played a pivotal role in not only overcoming my depression but launching my business too.

Many women struggle with perfectionism stemming from all those times we were told to be ‘a good girl’ growing up.  In The Confidence Code by Katty Kay 7 Claire Shipman they talk about how this affects our confidence as adults but how men don’t struggle in the same way because ‘boys will be boys’. 

When we adopt the attitude that good enough is good enough we can let go of perfectionism and just do our best.  We can celebrate our progress and enjoy the journey instead of waiting until we are ‘there’ to recognise our success.  And when we put ourselves out there without being perfect we’re able to tweak as we go without waiting until everything is ‘just right’, procrastination is the absolute killer of dreams.  You wouldn’t be reading a single word of this and my business wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t adopted this attitude.

  1. Anything is possible

When we ‘try’ to do something we’re always going to fail because until you commit, until you make up your mind to be all in, you’re only half-hearted and your energy isn’t right.  With the attitude of ‘anything is possible’ you’ll commit and see things through because you know you can do it.

When you believe anything is possible you’ll have the courage to go for your dreams, you’ll embrace your challenges, seeing them as opportunities to learn, not hurdles to overcome. You’ll know that every perceived ‘mistake’ is a chance to learn and try again so that next time you’re even better and closer to success.

The holy trilogy

These 3 mind-sets are like the holy trilogy to go for your dreams. With a solid foundation of self-care and a good enough attitude to get yourself out there and be visible in the world, anything really is possible and you can live that life you’ve always dreamed of.  Remember we mother our dreams like we mother our children, patiently and gently, knowing that they will grow and develop in perfect timing.

Which of these mind-sets do you need to adopt? Leave a comment below and let me know.

With love

Vicky x