We all have those ‘skeletons in the closet’ that we want to keep hidden from the world but by hiding from your past you’re missing out on the gold that it has to offer. We chase the illusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow but what I’ve discovered is that the rainbow, your journey, is the gold.
I’ve always held a vision for my future and felt this burning desire to help women change their lives but a few years ago I was flat out exhausted, depressed and my health was in an extremely bad way. With two children under 3 I was far from the ‘prefect parent’ I had imagined I would be.
During those painful years I felt further from my purpose and vision than ever before and I couldn’t see how I could possibly inspire women to follow their dreams and fulfil their greatest potential when I was at rock bottom.
Your pain IS your purpose
However, with deep introspection I was able to use that pain to fuel my purpose.
What I wanted more than anything was for my daughter’s to be happy and healthy, not just now but always, I knew they were watching and learning from my every move. I had to be the change.
I slowly but surely began to weave ‘me’ time and self-care into my day and released the guilt that came with it. I committed to healing my body and mind and vowed to help others do the same.
It’s been a painful journey but I am grateful for every single minute of it because without it I wouldn’t be where I am and who I am today.
Our past doesn’t define us but it can refine us if we’re willing to dig around in the dirt to find the gold.
3 steps to turn your pain into purpose:
1. Acknowledge & Accept
When you find yourself day dreaming about a painful part of your past don’t just dismiss it and try to suppress the emotions; that memory has popped into your awareness because it wishes to be released.
Mindfulness is an amazing tool for this and I will be sharing much more on this in the coming weeks. For now, allow the thought to come up, don’t judge it, acknowledge it, you can literally say ‘hi, I see you and I accept you’. Feel where the emotion is in your body. Breathe into it and identify it i.e. this is what grief/guilt/shame feels like.
2. Learn the lesson
Once you have allowed yourself to sit with the feeling for a while its hold on you and intensity will begin to lessen, from this clearer place you can begin to find the lesson in that experience.
What did you learn from this experience? How have you grown because of it? How, if at all, can you help others because of this experience?
When we extract the lessons from our experience we no longer need to keep repeating the same thing over and over. If you find yourself constantly living the same experience then its vital you spend some time with this exercise.
3. Express gratitude
Gratitude is one of, if not the, most powerful tools for transformation. Once you have accepted the experience for what it is and learnt the valuable lesson it brought you then you can express your sincere gratitude for the experience. You can say ‘I see you, I accept you, I am grateful for what you have taught me and now I release you’.
You will continue to carry around the baggage of our past until you fully accept it, learn from it and give thanks for it. Now your pain has purpose.
For me my greatest pain has become my life’s purpose. It was in losing myself that I was able to find myself, it was through the pain I was able to heal and it was through learning the lesson I am able to teach it.
As a Mindfulness teacher and Life Coach I’m dedicated to ensuring no woman suffers like I did alone. We all have a gift to share with the world but when we hide from our shadows we also hide from our light, we have to be brave and be seen, in all our colours.
For me the starting point was taking the much needed ‘me’ time I craved and releasing the guilt for doing so. If you suffer with feelings of guilt for taking a break and enjoying ‘me’ time then I have a powerful Guilt Release Meditation which I would love to offer you as a gift because I know the transformation that can come from the simple process of self-care.
If you would like a copy please sign up for your free copy here.