It was Mother’s Day here in the UK on Sunday and I woke up to 2 beautiful handmade cards from my daughters and a card from my husband. As I read my card from my 6 year old tears formed, next was my 9 year olds card and the tears began to blur my vision, by the time I read my husband’s words I was crying full-blown tears of joy and gratitude! (Words of Affirmation is my Love Language so to read their heart felt words means more to me than anything else. If, as a family you haven’t yet worked out your Love Languages I highly recommend you do it)
When the tears began to ease I reached for my phone, i’m not a frequent poster on Facebook but I just wanted to share my joy and wish other mums a beautiful day too but I hesitated. I thought of all those who may not feel such joy, those who have lost their mum, are still trying to become a mum, or worse.
The very first post I saw on Facebook was a friend saying pretty much that ‘I know Mother’s Day isn’t easy for everyone….’ so I changed my mind about posting and put my phone down.
But I thought about it some more, why am I holding back my joy? so that other people don’t feel bad?
There are 7.5 billion people on our planet, there is always going to be someone having a bad day, grieving and going through a difficult time, I’ve had my fair share too, but we don’t make the world a better place by holding back our joy and happiness, we make it a better place by sharing it with the world!
Yes I 100% agree we should be considerate of others and what they are going through but equally we should not feel bad about feeling good or stop ourselves from sharing that. Our joy and happiness may give hope to someone that one day they will feel it again too.
If we want to make the world a better place we need to let our joy and happiness shine out of every orifice and light up the world around us! Our energy is contagious so when we give out good vibes others feel them and they feel better too.
At the same time we shouldn’t be afraid to share our sadness or ‘lower’ emotions, not every emotion needs to be expressed on social media, but I do believe we need to be more real. Honesty is one of my top values so I do my best to share an honest interpretation of life in my posts and especially on my blog. On Saturday I had a perfect day craft making, cake baking and memory making with my girls and I shared a few pictures on my profile stating that usually these kind of days ‘look perfect’ in pictures but are often full of tears and tantrums, however I was pleased to say that that particular day was perfect!
The pictures people post on their social media are their highlights and it’s so easy to judge and compare our own lives to them, I’ve done it myself, and I’ve also found out that for each and every person who’s life I considered ‘perfect’ through their social media presence, was in fact going through real struggle.
It’s a fine balance, I think being real is the solution, ‘aww don’t the kids look adorable in their new party clothes, pity is took an hour of stress to get them dressed and out the door on time!’. I’m not suggesting we do this every time but keeping it real helps.
Don’t Steal Other People’s Joy
Later that day another issue came to light around our ability to feel and express joy. We’d all chipped in the buy my mam an Ipad mini for Mother’s Day and when she opened it you could see she was really grateful but I knew instantly something wasn’t right, the joy wasn’t beaming from her orifices! She was embarrassed that we had spent so much.
See, not only do we hold back sharing our joy with others but we also find it really difficult to receive. The truth is my mam deserves a million times more than a new Ipad, she is one of the most generous, loving and giving people on the planet, to a fault you could say.
It’s brilliant to give and be generous but only when that’s balanced by your own ability to receive. My mam is no exception, I see so many big hearted women who find it difficult to receive. But just think for a moment how good it feels when you give someone something that is received with happiness and gratitude, it feels great right? So don’t deny that good feeling to those who give to you.
We need to give and receive equally, that means sharing our highs when necessary and allowing ourselves to receive support when needed too.
I know most women struggle with receiving so from this day forward allow this to be your new mantra ‘it’s easy for me to receive’, repeat it daily. This will reprogram your subconscious mind so that next time you receive a gift, a compliment or an offer for support you’ll receive it easily and gratefully and give the other person the absolute joy of giving it to you.
The morale of this story? Don’t hide your joy and don’t deny other people their’s by not being able to receive, you deserve to be unbelievably happy with joy beaming from every orifice, we all do!
If you’re a mum who struggles with accepting and expressing your emotions, who gives to everyone and has nothing left for yourself, please check out the Mighty Mama Tribe . It’s an online program designed especially for mums who are exhausted and overwhelmed from over-giving. Enrolment for 2019 closes Friday 5th April so take a look now, your future self will thank you for it x