balance, trust, let go, self-care

I’d describe myself as an ‘all or nothing’ person, so learning to find balance never came easy to me and it’s something I have to work on daily to maintain; we all do.  And as a self-confessed control freak learning to let go was perhaps even harder to do, however with my determined spirit I found a way!

In my quest I found 3 tools to be invaluable.  Each is simple in theory but not so simple in practise.

Push, push, push

We live in a world where we’re encouraged to push push push, however balance requires less pushing and more being.

We are taught to think our way out of problems but balance requires that we feel our way too.

And in a world where we are expected to multi-task, balance requires us to be grounded in this moment, fully immersed in our current task, and only that one.

Can you imagine just being in this moment right now, trusting fully that all your future moments will be taken care of?

Can you imagine feeling instead of thinking your way through life, following your heart no matter what the head says?

And can you imagine being so fully immersed in this moment that all thoughts of the past or future cease to exist?  It seems almost impossible right?

Here are my 3 top tips to help you achieve the balance you crave so you can be happy now.

  1. Trust & let go

“Fear of water” she said.  As soon as she uttered the words I was transported back to the edge of the pool where at 9 years old I held on tightly gasping for air.  My brother’s laugh, muffled by the water, swam around my mind as I tried to push myself up for air.  He kept pushing me under, I couldn’t breathe, and I began to panic.

During the edit with my kinesiologist I could see myself holding on so tight, I was so consumed by the fear that I couldn’t find the solution.  I was being controlled by my circumstances instead of controlling them.   ‘let go and trust’ I heard whisper through my mind, so I did, I let go of the side of the pool, pushed off and floated on my back ‘trust you will always be supported.  The universe has your back’ I heard just as she announced “that’s it the correction is done, the fear has been released”.

Learning to let go and trust when we are so used to being in tight control is no easy task but trust me if you do everything you are working towards will come to you so much easier and so much quicker.

That’s why when I was told recently to take the summer off I listened.  I let go completely and trusted fully that the current of life would lead me to where I needed to be and it has, beautifully.

Action step:

Where are you holding on too tightly and trying to control the situation? How can you let go and trust?  Listen for the answer and it will come.

Imagine you are handing over your situation to the universe and then lye back (literally) and imagine you are floating in beautiful calm waters and the current is carrying you to exactly where you need to be.

Stop trying to think your way out and learn to feel instead.

  1. Refill your reserves

Another non-negotiable part of finding balance is through the art of self-care.  This is something most women REALLY struggle with.

There are 2 main reasons we struggle with self-care:

  1. We don’t think we deserve it
  2. We’re afraid of the silence

Of course we aren’t always consciously aware of this but in my work with clients this is what I see time and time again.  Self-care seems to come with a huge side portion of guilt.  And after a life time of not feeling good enough and suppressing our emotions the silence that often accompanies self-care can be deafening,

When we are running on empty we become tired and cranky, maybe even a little resentful.  When running on empty becomes the norm, which it has for many, it has serious implications on our health and sense of self.  “I don’t even know who I am any more” are words I hear time and time again.

When you put your energy and well-being first, everything else is easier.  To consider self-care selfish is the biggest block to living a balanced life.

Action step:

What fills you up?  If you had 10 minutes to relax would you read, exercise, write, draw, phone a friend or take a bath?  It’s easy to refill our reserves; you just have to be committed to doing it.

The most powerful tool to refill our reserves is deep breathing.  Spending just a few moments focused on the breath will restore your energy, open you up to receive and ground you in the present moment, that’s the most powerful place in the world to be.  Right here, right now.

Every day, as often as you can, spend a few moments just focused on your breath.  It’s the little things that make the big changes.

  1. Grounding

Over the years I have spent more time in my head day dreaming about the future I want to create than I have in my body living the life I have now.

I’m all about creating the life we want to live but we can only do that when we’re grounded in the present moment and happy now.  Balance requires knowing what you want and being fully present in this moment to receive it.  When we’re un-grounded we can experience any of the following symptoms:

  • Dizziness
  • Daydreaming
  • A feeling of being ‘Spaced Out’
  • Clumsiness
  • Falling asleep when meditating
  • Forgetful

However when we are fully grounded we get to enjoy the moment, whilst knowing all others are taken care of.  When we are present now, the future we wish to create can come to us easily because we’ve let go of the lack of it and the need to ‘do’ something to push forward.  We basically get out of our own way.

Action step:

To ground yourself simply focus on your breath whilst holding a stone for a few moments.  Or imagine roots growing out from your feet and deep into the earth.  Spend some time in nature and use all of your senses to take in your environment and immerse yourself in the moment.

Ground yourself throughout your day and you’ll start to feel the difference.

As i said the theory is simple, its the practise that’s tricky, you have to commit 110% to make the changes you want to make and to accept that it can actually be a lot easier than you think when you let go, listen to how you feel, honour your needs and train your mind to be right here, right now.

If you need some help finding balance I am offering ‘Summer Self-care Strategy Sessions’.  I only have 5 places available, which must be booked and taken by Thursday 26th of August.  In this 1 hour session we will delve into your current self-care regime and work out a Strategy for Success so you have a daily self-care regime that is manageable and tailor made for you, the perfect balance!  The session costs just £40, email to book.

Here’s to a beautifully balanced summer, or what’s left of it!

Vicky x

The Balanced Living Coach