Positive thinking doesn’t work, that’s a bit controversial isn’t it? Especially coming from me, a ‘positive thinker’ and someone who teaches women how to change their mindset to create positive change. But here’s what i’ve discovered:
You can’t think your way out of how you feel
If you’ve read any of my blogs you’ll know i’m a big advocate for developing an attitude of gratitude but layering how you really feel deep down with positive thoughts and a scattering of gratitude doesn’t work when the body has taken over and, for want of a better word, you feel like shit.
If you’re exhausted, stressed, suffering with ill health or low on energy and you just can’t seem to shake it then your body has taken over and it has now become your subconscious mind. You may wake up and do your best to think positive but if you physically feel like shit then this feeling affects your thinking. So please don’t beat yourself up if you think you’ve become a negative person who, despite your best efforts, ends up thinking negatively and wallowing in a feeling of hopelessness. And if you’ve ‘tried everything’ to fix things but ‘nothing works’ then listen up, I have the solution.
I suffered with low mood and energy for many years and I went to numerous coaches who, rather unsympathetically told me ‘it’s all in your head’. Even though my intuition told me otherwise, I kept on trying to think positive and control my every thought, like a meerkat on lookout duty i’d guard my mind for anything that looked like a suspicious, dangerous thought. It was exhausting and fruitless because my body felt like shit. And no matter how much I focused on gratitude, grounded myself, balanced my chakra’s, filled myself with white light and all the other things I was told would ‘fix’ me, this feeling in my body was stronger and my intuition, god bless it, kept telling me what I now know to be true: ‘you can’t think your way out of this feeling, your body is in charge’.
Then I discovered the work of Dr Joe Dispenza and his amazing book, Breaking the habit of being yourself. In it he explains exactly what my intuition had been telling me, that by the age of 35 habitual thoughts and feelings become so ingrained into our system that the body takes over and becomes the subconscious mind. This is great if up until that point you’ve lived a hunky dory life of positivity but what if, like many people, you’ve experienced stress, grief, exhaustion, financial difficulty or depression?
We can deal with all these things short term but when they are prolonged they begin to form our perception and beliefs and we begin to see everything through the lens of stress, negativity and lack. So no matter how positive you think if your body is living in a constant state of high alert, waiting patiently for the next disaster, living on the edge and suffering with a lack mentality, you can’t just think your way out of it.
Yes it’s thinking that got you into it but you need to feel your way out of it.
How to feel your way to change
Real healing comes from the inside and the ultimate tool for this is meditation.
There are literally thousands of studies proving the power of meditation to change your life (and your brain), to get you started here are my top tips to meditate for change:
- Commit to a daily practice, ideally first thing in the morning or last thing at night
- Spend time just being present in the moment – most people think meditating is about stopping all thoughts but that’s about as easy as stopping your heart beat. Just keep bringing your mind back to centre, don’t try to stop the thoughts, acknowledge them, let them go and focus on the now. Meditation helps you bypass the analytical mind and enter the subconscious, where real change happens
- After you’ve meditated for a while focus on how you want your life to be – if you have a health issue, spend time visualising and feeling how your life would be without it, really get into the feeling of having that reality now. Let the emotions of it run through your body. This is where the true power of your mind lies, in your ability to imagine, visualise and feel your future.
That’s it. You just need to commit to a daily practice and don’t analyse your progress, it may take time but it WILL happen. I discounted meditation for many years because I was ‘too busy’. I couldn’t understand how doing nothing could actually create the change but now I know otherwise.
Most people are too busy living the life they don’t want to spend time quietly creating the one they do. Meditation is a very powerful tool, please don’t discount it.
I’m working on a powerful workshop for anyone who would like to explore this further, if you’re interested sign up to my list or join my facebook group to be kept in the loop.
However you feel right now you have the power to change, just make a decision and commit and then feel your way to it one day at a time!
I wish you well,